Early Harvest: Pesto Farm 3000 is a Go

Seriously, pesto is my favorite. That's the reason why I have so many basil plants, which all seem to be thriving, yay!

About a month ago, I propagated a couple cuttings from my original basil plant. They sat in a glass of water for a week, seemingly doing nothing, until one day: BAM, roots. Awesome! In the interest of science, I took another cutting from the same plant, didn't wait for it to grow roots, and stuck it in the same soil. It seemed very unhappy at first, but now look at it! Seems to be doing fine.

I read that it's good to keep your herbs on their toes by getting rid of flowers (check!) and also to knock them down to size frequently. In my (admittedly limited) experience, basil doesn't store in the fridge as well as, say, rosemary or thyme, so I have to use it right away. So, I needed to get rid of the huge, huge bowl of basil that I'd liberated from its home. Pesto time!

I didn't have any nuts, of any kind. I only had basil; cheap, grated parmasan cheese; olive oil; and garlic. The internets say it's possible, though, to make nutless pesto, so I was on my way.

Here's what I did:

Filled my 10-cup food processor about 3/4 full with loose basil leaves
Chopped up three, maybe four (sorry, don't know!) cloves of garlic
Added about 1/2-3/4 cup of parm cheese
Started the food processor
Realized at this point that my pesto needed some bulk, so looked at the rest of the herbs that I'd just harvested, and decided on adding a few leaves of sage
Added olive oil until the stuff in the processor had a pesto-like consistency
Rejoiced!

I'm patting myself so hard on my head right now, you guys, you just don't know, because the sage turned out to be really cool in the pesto. However, it still didn't go very far. I got about two, small jars out of all of this, and it's air-sensitive, so I topped each of the jars with some olive oil to keep it from turning brownish (ugh, didn't notice it did that before with store-bought stuff.) No worries, though, because it's not lasting long.

The first thing I did was make pesto mayonnaise to go with fries (Sean made dinner). I didn't take a picture of this, but I'm guessing you could imagine it looked like mayo with some green stuff in it. The ingredients were:

1 tbsp-ish of pesto
2 tbsp-ish of mayo

It was awesome because it was basically a little ramekin filled with fat and herbs. You can't go wrong.

Next thing I tried was pasta.

1/2 bag linguini, cooked
1 6 oz strip steak, sliced and cooked to medium well, unfortunately, because the steak was really thin.
2 tbsp pesto
A few grape tomatoes (from my garden!!!!), quartered and sauteed in butter
Random herbs (from my garden!!!!), I think thyme, rosemary, and parsley
Alfredo sauce, because screw it, we're already full of carbs and fat anyway.

Cook the linguini, cook the grape tomatoes and steak, when it's all done throw it together with the pasta and the sauces. It looked like this. I was pleased.

And my favorite thing: pizzas with pesto. You need:

Round pita bread
Pesto
Pizza toppings (I did pepperoni, tomatoes (from the garden!!!) and immature purple bell peppers (they keep rotting on the vine so I pick them young)
Mozzarella cheese (or whatever you like)

Heat the oven to, like 425, or whatever. Take your pitas, spread pesto on, add cheese and toppings. Put in the oven until the cheese is bubbly and the peppers and tomatoes look a little wilted. Then shove unceremoniously into your face because it was really damn good.

In fact, I might have one after I add more wood chips to the smoker.

So, that's what I've been doing with my pesto farm. It is fun and rewarding!

The artichoke is dead. Long live the artichoke. Also: companion planting

After a short battle with aphids, and some really regrettable pesticide choices, my artichoke plant is officially dead. The pot is now a compost bin. Hate you, aphids. You're the worst.

Good news is everything else is doing OK. I've been a complete Pinterest addict lately, shameful, useless time that I'll never get back, but I found this neat chart for plants that go well together, realizing with horror that the placement of dill by my brussels sprouts was ALL WRONG.

Since Brussels Sprouts are cousins (I think) to cauliflower and broccoli, I just went by those recommendations. I also don't know how asparagus fits into this equation. I guess we'll see.

At any rate, here's the new plant configuration:

Everything in its place. Stuck the marigolds in the middle of the tomatoes, and then added some basil to the circle. The herbs are all next to each other--luckily, none of the herbs in the same container have major conflicts--and the Brussels Sprouts and asparagus are up against the deck wall. Neat! Oh and the Pickles plant basically moves wherever she wants.

Decided to put the parsley next to the peppers. I was originally doubtful of this configuration since the parsley is supposed to be part-sun...and honestly, it hasn't been growing super well in its new spot, so maybe I'll move it back. But the peppers are all supposed to be friends. Let's roll with it.

So, that's exciting. Yay! I haven't been posting a lot of stuff lately, but I have been saving it up. I have nothing to do today but run the smoker, pick at my plants, and (to be honest) day drink, so there might be a lot of random crap posted.

Tarragon and corn are a match made in heaven

Gah, I haven't even had this blog for a month and already I'm slipping. Whoops. Things are still going mostly well. I harvested my first couple of jalepenos, and about 10 grape tomatoes, but my artichoke plant, I'm pretty sure, is totally, just, dead. It's so depressing, and I keep procrastinating when it comes to just tossing the damn thing. So, that's that, in a nutshell. I also have some jacked up mold stuff on my tomatoes, but they seem to be otherwise healthy. I'll try to get some more pictures up soon.

However, the point of this post is that I finally hacked into my tarragon plant, and I'm going to make corn on the cob a la amazingribs.com. Oh my God, this is the only way to make it. The first time I did it, I used thyme along with the tarragon, and it was still pretty good. But after trying it pure, I'm never going back. There is something magic about tarragon and corn together, and of course, with butter to tie it altogether.

So, there's my public service announcement on this lazy Sunday. Steep tarragon in butter, grill your corn, be happy. That's all!

"They can't all be winners, kid." Failure on the Farm.

One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies: Santa to "Kid" in Bad Santa. It just fits in every scenario. I go into every hobby thinking I will be the best, a natural, and I fall way below my exacting standards and usually give up. Not this time. Things aren't exactly awesome on the homestead, but I'm far from giving up. Let's take a look.

Sara's Fails

Let's just get this out of the way here. We have what I believe is our first casualty of the year. Sorry, Violas. I thought you could take the heat. They were perfectly fine when I watered them last night. Now, they have the texture of cooked spaghetti and appear to have given up on life. I'll monitor them over the next couple days, but if they're not better by Saturday, a burial may be in order.

My poor artichoke plant has aphids. Bleargh. I thought it was just dirt (because I am an IDIOT) but the other day, I was all like, "Hmm...my artichokes don't look so goo...oh my God that dirt is moving." I've been looking up all natural solutions to this, but the end result might be the just trashing the plant. Not going to give up yet.

I didn't know cilantro was supposed to look like that! Because it's not. I don't use a ton of cilantro, so I don't care that much, and the flowers are kind of pretty, so, meh. Whatever. My parsley is doing well though. Harvested a whole bunch of it over the weekend, and it's bouncing back like a champ.

Eeeh. Separated tomatoes aren't doing so hot, either. I call the one on the left my Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. It hasn't grown, vertically or horizontally, at all, but there are new buds forming, so I haven't lost hope. Also, I've been obsessively checking the three wee tomatoes on the plant on the right for signs of rot, thinking that the plant is just giving up. Well, the tomatoes keep growing, even if the plant isn't. So, once again, wait and see. I might have to repot Charlie Brown.

This sprout needs to be repotted, forthwith. It is not pleased to be in that tiny little pot. It appears to be growing, somewhat, and I hope it's not too late. There are little buds on the stem which signal the appearance of Brussels sprouts at some point in the future. Also, it's being eaten by something. I really, really need to look into pesticide.

And...onto the (this far) successes!

My jalapeno has, like, six peppers on it, in varying stages of growth!!! Eeeee! In fact, my habaneros and bell peppers are doing OK as well. There still aren't any actual peppers on those, but there are lots and lots of buds. So, if anything, we'll always have peppers.

The sprouts that have suitable living conditions, despite being a little bitten up, seem to be doing quite well. So does my asparagus. The more I read, the more worried I get that I am not going to be able to eat it this year. The challenge, in this case, will be keeping the damn thing alive over the winter.

And here come my lovely herbs to make me feel like less of a failure! Look at that forest of dill! I hacked A TON of it off over the weekend, as well. Seriously, like I took away a third of that plant, and it's bounced back like crazy. I'm concerned about my basil, but other than that, my biggest problem with the herbs is that I don't have enough ways to use them (or the time to cook with them the way I'd like to).

Yay, at least some of my serranos are doing something. I still don't think I'll be able to harvest before Christmas, but I'm convinced I will get at least one pepper out of the pack of them.

Last year, my lavender was super depressed, so this makes me happy that it's growing like crazy. I think it and the marigolds (the ones that aren't in the death pot with the violas, anyway)get along quite well and are helping each other. And finally, my white whale...Tarragon!!!

It has FINALLY tripled in size from when I first got it! Hallelujah!!! I think I need to repot, though. Pretty soon it's going to outgrow its space, and we cannot have that!

I plan on having a super productive day on Saturday (no rain, got it????) repotting, and burying, and de-infesting, whatever the case may be. So, look forward to (if you care, which, seriously, I don't think anybody reads this, but isn't it a nice record of the growth??) more updates on Saturday!

Soundtrack

Let's talk about our favorite 70's bands and how they don't get enough credit for shaping the musical landscape. I think that any movie about anything and starring anybody could be scored with music exclusively from the 70's.

Starting with:

Teenage Disappointment: The Musical

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

The protagonist sits in a car in the rain, watching the person she loves run into shelter with another girl or boy. She vows to never feel this way again and to create an empire. A makeup empire.

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

A montage of the protagonist's efforts at perfecting the chemistry of eye makeup, interspersed with visuals of disastrous first and second efforts, and ending in a spectacularly elaborate smoky eye, the likes of which I could never achieve, but anyway. My site, my pretend musical, shut up.

Turn to Stone by ELO

Our protagonist is high on the power of excellent cosmetics, forgetting her best friend, X, who has been with her every step of the way. Our protagonist thinks, "I don't need you, X! It's not like you helped me discover this formula or anything!" But X totally helped. Anyway, it's not a perfect analogy. Just work with me.

If You Leave Me Now by Chicago

(Real talk: I wanted to use "Hard to say I'm Sorry", but that was from the 80's. Dammit. Theory disproved. However, in the spirit of making the best of it, we're taking what we get.) Our protagonist walks, gazing straight at navel, down a city street. She looks side to side, slightly dazed from sadness, noticing things that she and her X both loved together. A gyro shop, a constantly burning tire pile...am I just thinking of things from The Simpsons now? OK, moving on. Yes, I'm exhausted with this too.

Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp

The whole reason I made this stupid list. I need to sing praises to this song as much as I possibly can. Luckily, X accepts protagonists apology, realizing the silly and petty nature of their disagreement in the first place. They hold hands and skip off into a dazzling sunset with the skyline in view. Their makeup looks INCREDIBLE.

Bonus track!

Pinball Wizard by, I guess, the Who and Elton John? I don't know about those politics. I just think this song would be fun for a triumphant moment during a movie.

So, that happened, and for some reason I had to get that out tonight. Next on Random Crap theater, I rank my favorite STDs.

Surefire winner

I always feel guilty having a good day when somebody I know is in the shit. One of my very closest friends is going through something totally awful, unfathomable, even. It is with that in mind that I attempt to temper the fact that I'm in a better mood than I have been in recent memory.

It comes down to the fact that I am a simple woman with simple needs. For me to be in a good mood, I need:

1. For my hair to look OK to good
2. Sunshine
3. To feel competent at work
4. An insane amount of caffeine

If two out of those four come together, I'm usually going to be alright. Today, for the first time in what feels like ages, it's sunny in St. Louis; a colleague made the crazy coffee, which was completely opaque and totally tasted like liquorice (which is somehow OK when it's actually coffee); hair didn't look like I belonged on the mental ward; and yes, I didn't feel like an idiot at any point of the work day, which has never happened.

Bearing that in mind, my heart and head are still with my buddy. You know who you are, and I love you.

OK, enough about me, let's talk plants.

The repotted tomatoes aren't doing awesome, but the bigger one (Siamese twins) had its first tomatoes pop over the weekend. I'm good with that.

I call him Buckwheat. I need to find more things to do with Thyme. Which is, like, anything, so I guess I just need to start cooking at home more.

Dill is still going nuts. I plan on culling it quite a bit this weekend--making tzatziki and straight up dill dip to go with a rye round.

My serranos are doing alright, too. These are the ones I grew from seeds. They'll probably give fruit around Christmas, but whatever.

I've finally gotten less precious about my parsley, realizing that it will continue to grow as long as I continue to water it.

And look! My first jalepeno!!!!!! Eeeeeee!!!! Habaneros and bells, get to work!

I do believe that, in the 15 minutes it took for me to finish this post, that I have angered my troubled friend in my seriously misguided attempts to help with "humor". I love you, friend going through the shit, even if I'm a jackass and my jokes aren't as funny as I think they are.

Hope everybody else is doing alright. Sara, out.

Ennui

Hate rain in June.  It's been rainy and depressing since Saturday.  Plants are fine but don't want to my phone out in the rain for pictures.  Dill is going nuts, it's really out of control, and I have an honest to God jalapeño that's appeared! Come on, weather.  Give me something to work with. <p>

In the meantime, I have ice cream and Orange is the New Black.  Totally unrelated factoid: I have not had any meat today.  I toy around with going vegetarian, occasionally, and it never sticks.  Today, it wasn't intentional, necessarily, but now that I'm on a roll, I might try to keep it going.  Who knows.  Thank God there's no meat in booze.  Or ice cream.

Doing the Lord's Work

I love the expression "Doing the Lord's work", or, more specifically, "Doin' the Lord's work" (gotta drop them "g's"!). Used in a non-religious context, I see it like the phrase "Fighting the good fight", but more fun and dramatic. I say it all the time at work when somebody else is making coffee (which, I need to stop, because everybody thinks I'm weird enough as it is). I think it when I see somebody returning a cart to the corral at the grocery store. I also love the expression "Come to Jesus", as in "Somebody needs to have a 'Come to Jesus' with Nancy about her ham salad. She uses way too much mayo!" But that's neither here nor there.

Despite the threat of rain looming overhead, I got up early this morning and decided to do the Lord's work with some of my plants that were in pots simply too small for their ever-increasing girth. Let me tell you, repotting established plants SUCKS. I hate it. Last year, I wound up actually taking a hammer to probably $100 worth of terracotta pots (cry) instead of attempting to extract the root ball. Weak, and this year I attempted to avoid this by planting in pots that I *thought* would be big enough. Well, I thought wrong, so that was a fun hour and a half.

I started small by taking my serranos out of one of those long planters, which, even as seedlings, they were threatening to outgrow imminently. That was fine because they were tiny. From there, I moved on to one of my Brussels sprouts, which was flourishing yesterday, but today looked sick and sad. Since it's just one plant, it went along relatively smoothly and without incident. And finally, I moved on to my globe or cherry tomato, not sure which, and that was a nightmare.

I mentioned in a previous post that my tomatoes make me a complete basket case. This is because I'm scared I'm either doing too much to them or not doing enough. Nothing seems right. Also, the squirrels, or some vile animal in my neighborhood, will straight up attack them, just kill the damn tomato but not actually eat it, just leave it mangled and rotting on the vine. Infuriating.

Anyway, my globe or cherry tomato plant is starting to get brown leaves, and I think it could have been one of two things (or a combination thereof):

1. The pot I started it in was much too small, and/or
2. There are actually three separate tomato plants that came out of that seed pod, and they're fighting with each other. Whoops.

Both of the above statements are totally true, so I decided to do something about it. I took the one tomato plant that was off to the side of the pot and savagely hacked at the soil in the original container until it had started to knock free of the rest of the dirt. I then ripped it out of the pot, and put it into its new home. The other two plants I see as Siamese twins, there's no separating them without doing major, life-changing damage to the whole. So, they went into a new home by themselves. I'm just going to take a wait-and-see approach to this, and just hope that they thrive apart as they (previously) thrived together.

To wind down my morning of manual labor, I decided to stake my peppers, which I find super fun and exciting because it's easy, and I get to poke sticks in dirt. Last year I didn't have any twine, so I had to tie the stakes with gold sparkle ribbon. But this year, it's a bit more appropriate. (Although, between us, I'm not quite sure the habaneros really need to be staked? It seems to be growing more as a bush than a tree. I'll keep an eye on it)

Also, I decided that I need to get more aggressive about my basil. I'm obsessed with basil pesto, and my one plant, while robust, won't provide for my pesto needs. So, I'm took some cuttings, and when the roots develop, I plan on sticking it in the windowbox that formerly held my serranos. And then I will have PESTO FARM 3000!

The rest of this post will be basically a picture dump because I need to be praised for all of my hard work and because I have probably another hour to kill before I can grill my Thai pork fail Mu Ping.

Here's my partial shade group--cilantro, parsley, and artichoke. They're so easy. I really, really hope that artichoke plant produces in the first year.

Most of the herbs, also super easy and thriving. You don't hear the dill complaining to be repotted! I'm talking to you, tomatoes!

My beloved beagle, Pickles. Such a brat, though. But still, cute. Here she's "helping me garden". Oh neat, and there's my computer chair. It's famous!

My repotted Brussels sprout. Seems to be doing ok.

My crown jewel and white whale, tarragon, which seems to finally be growing (!!!!!!).

And here's what I see when I look out the sliding-glass door: the majority of my garden, my favorite hobby, and what will hopefully become the well-earned results of doing the Lord's work.

Early harvest: things to do with dill

Since it's a rainy Saturday (in June! Boo!) and I don't feel like showering and getting ready now, only to get wet when grilling in a couple hours, I have nothing to do but clean my house paint my nails watch TV update my nascent site that I hope not to abandon in two weeks, I mean it!

My breakfast this morning ruled. I'm not usually a breakfast person because I sleep until the last possible second during the week, and the morning is a mad dash to get to work on time. However, I gave blood yesterday (no, I will not stop talking about it) and the lady said to not skip meals. However, she also said that I should be fine to drink alcohol after 4 hours (at 10:00 a.m.??), and since I almost passed out last night after one Guinness, maybe I should take her recommendations with a grain of salt?

Anyway, I decided to hook myself up with an omelette with tomato, parmesan cheese, parsley, and dill.

For the uninitiated (which is me), dill can be kind of daunting. This year, my dill is going crazy, and I keep trying to find stuff to do with it. I mean, it's good on salmon...and...um...Google? Care to help me out here?

Here we go! Neat!

I am going to try this summer to always keep tzatziki sauce in my house, because it's awesome. Found my amazing recipe here. This uses a lot of dill, and mint and parsley, which I also have in the garden. Also, did you know that dill is in ranch dressing? I did not.

I think that dill really, really sings with eggs. I've started to use it in my deviled eggs, and this morning in my awesome omelette.

So, here's Sara's Blood-Loss Breakfast:

2 eggs
A little milk
Salt or salt-like seasoning to taste (We use Chef's Secret and have for years, it rules)
A little butter for the pan
A small tomato, diced
Some parmesan cheese
Some fresh mozzarella, because why not?
Lots of cracked black pepper
Lots of parsley
Lots of dill
Sriracha
Toast and black coffee, on the side

Start by cooking the chopped up tomato in butter. I should have cooked it longer, but I didn't. It was still fine. It's butter and tomatoes, come on.

Add the eggs and cook for a minute, add the mozzarella and cook until melted. Another thing I would have done differently was to omit the milk since fresh mozzarella is so melty anyway. Cook until the eggs are to your liking. I like mine super dry and overcooked. I know this is wrong, and I don't care.

When it's done, dump it on a plate, and cover the eggs in the herbs and sriracha. Add the toast to the plate in a manner that looks unnervingly like a face. Shovel into your mouth because nobody is watching anyway, who cares if you eat the eggs with your hands, you pig.

So, that's that. Hopefully, by feeding myself and drinking quart after quart of water during the day, I'll be able to have more than one freaking beer tonight.

Early harvest: using cilantro in Mu Ping

I haven't been out for Thai food in probably eight or nine years, since before I started to like curry (o blessed day) and ordered dishes that were basically bland, less greasy Chinese food. No matter how spicy the cooks would make it, I just never got into it. I will eat pretty much anything before I go for Thai food. The only thing I actively like about Thai food is how the dishes look in the Thai language, which is super pretty. เห็น? มันงดงาม (Translation: See? It's gorgeous) I guess if I were starving, I could choke some back, but I wouldn't get excited about it. This is one of my only culinary aversions.

The bar that's close to my house has an international food day once a year. It's always quite an event. The bar patrons draw countries, or regions, out of a hat. In the past, I've drawn Mexico (yay!), the Middle East (woo!), India (hooray!!), and Northern Africa (hooray again!). Well, my streak had to end, and this year, I drew Southeast Asia.

Determined to make the best of this, I looked up Thai appetizers, and found something called Mu Ping, or Moo Ping, or หมูปิ้ง. It's marinated pork, grilled on sticks, and eaten in mass quantities. Apparently, it's a prolific street food in Bangkok. Sounds cool. I decided to give it a shot.

When I have a country or region I'm excited about, I will practice my dish until it's perfect (see: palak paneer, hummus, labneh, all of which I've pretty much mastered /brag). This time, I'm flying by the seat of my pants, a decision that I regret, because this shit is going to be awful.

Here's the recipe I'm using. I don't want to link to the site because I'm sure the author is lovely, and I'm sure if you like this stuff it's delicious, but I am totally badmouthing it because I'm immature and oyster sauce, eeeewwww. I'll provide a link to the site to whomever wants it. Really, just Google "mu ping" and it's the first option, so there. My comments are in italics.

4.5 lbs pork shoulder, cut against the grain into ¼- to ½-inch thick bite-sized pieces (First break from the recipe, but an unimportant one: I used about 2 lbs of country style ribs and 2 lbs of pork loin roast, but still it's fatty pork, whatever, it'll be fine)
4 tablespoons (30 g) finely-chopped cilantro roots or stems (Used stems because I don't want to screw up my plant, but this actually came from my garden)
7 large garlic cloves (30 g), peeled (Alright, got it, but 30g of garlic is like four big cloves, not seven)
1 tablespoon (8 g) white peppercorns (Whoops, forgot this stuff...uh...mixed peppercorns will work, right?)
132 g palm sugar, grated finely or melted in the microwave (More on this later, but this crap is my new nemesis)
3 tablespoons fish sauce (bleargh)
2 tablespoons thin/light soy sauce (Sure.)
2 tablespoons oyster sauce (retching sounds)
Approximately ¾ cup of coconut milk with which to brush the pork

Everything was going OK until I broke into the palm sugar, which is packaged like little hockey pucks, and would probably do as much damage to a face due to its rock-hard nature. Now, reading up on palm sugar, it's not *supposed* to be like that. It should crumble somewhat easily. If it doesn't, then it's poor-quality palm sugar, and that brand should never be purchased again. Roger that, but what the hell am I supposed to do now?

Being ever the resourceful broad, I googled "how to melt palm sugar". Put it in the microwave for 30 seconds with one tablespoon of water to each puck. It'll be fine, come apart, etc. No, it didn't. Combined with heat and water, palm sugar becomes super glue. I had a bunch of lumps of sugar swimming in a shallow pond of super-sticky, super-sweet goo. So, I made my next fatal mistake and decided to just take it the rest of the way in my beloved food processor. My poor Cuisenart groaned with strain and displeasure as the little rocks stuck themselves to the lid and wedged themselves in the corners of the bowl (well, not corners, are they corners? Where the bottom and the sides meet in the bowl? Whatever, we'll call them corners). I figured it would get better once I added more ingredients, so I did, fired it up again, and it's like that stuff did not want to dissolve. Palm sugar sucks.

Also, the more ingredients I threw into that bowl, the more I got grossed out. I realize I'm going to sound like a cultural imperialist here, but I don't know how anybody can eat something called "fish sauce" and not want to hurl. I like fish, and I like sauce, but put the two together and bleeaaaarrrrgh.

So, once I got this all together, I came to the conclusion that, for the first time, my international food day dish is going to be completely vile. It's been marinating for about an hour now, and I stand by this assessment. Maybe it will be less gross when it's cooked, but I do not want to touch that marinade with my hands. But, you know, it's about time. I haven't cooked something that I hated for a really long time. They can't all be winners.

I'll update after it's cooked. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting fish and oyster-flavored crap.

Update! I am removing the "gross" tag because this was not gross at all. In fact, once it's cooked (ugh, I know, have some patience), it's very not gross. Yay!

Meet the family.

Since Blogger's mobile app really, totally sucks, and the 300 word post I wrote didn't go to the draft box on my computer (what the hell, it's completely inconsistent, my other failed blog post did!!!), I'm being forced to retype this BY HAND. Did we lose a war or something?

Anyway, here's what I meant to post on Thursday. I think it's important to take an inventory of what I have and what I'll be obsessing about for the next three months.

So, if I'm going to do nothing here but talk about plants, I'd better start talking about plants, right? I can't think of a better time to list everything on my deck! Let's do this!

On my deck, I have:

Grape tomatoes (established)
Roma tomatoes (still seedlings, because I germinated them in April...whoops)
Regular tomatoes? Not sure which kind, grew them out of those nifty Miracle Gro Plant Pods and can't remember which one it was. So either globe or cherry tomatoes, because that's all they got
Jalapenos
Habaneros
Serranos
Purple bell peppers (in theory, let's see if I can keep the birds off before I get too excited)
Brussels sprouts, three plants (which, they're already huge)
Asparagus
Artichokes (once again, in theory--I heard there are both annual and perennial varieties. The annuals--I think--produce the first year, but the perennials don't. Once again, not sure which one I have, I need to pay closer attention)
Marigolds
Violas
Lavender
Some sad lily whose head I broke off when I first got it, sorry lily

And every herb ever:

Sweet mint
Basil
Thyme
Rosemary
Oregano
Dill
Sage
Cilantro
Flat leaf parsley
And my crown jewel and white whale, which is finally kind of growing...Tarragon!!!

Mostly everything is growing really well. We have a huge deck that gets a lot of afternoon sun, so that helps, but it also means no lazy Sara. 100 degrees outside, hungover, just don't feel like it, too bad. Strap on those flip flops and turn on the hose, ho. Remember potting all those things? It sucked, right? Go garden, slothy!

So, the plants I'm most concerned about are my tarragon, rosemary, and tomatoes. Tomatoes make me a basket case because the leaves will start to turn brown at the bottom, and I'm too chicken to see if that's normal. And even if it's not, what can I do? Rosemary almost needs less attention than I give it, but I can't stop loving you! And the tarragon, I had to order from Amazon as I was too lazy to go to a nursery in the city to get it. The fact that I'm concerned that it hasn't tripled in size in the two weeks since I acquired it is a legitimate and totally rational concern, right??

I totally can't wait to get my hands on those brussels sprouts. Those things are magical little plants.

And that's it! A complete inventory of plants and a shocking indictment against my sanity.

Welcome to my Garden! Grab a beer and get to work.

Imagine my shock when I downloaded the Blogger app, and EIGHT discarded blogs stared me in the face. Like my neglected blogs, I have no shortage of hobbies, thrown by the wayside and summarily forgotten.

I start everything, but I lack follow through. Thousands of dollars in beading supplies are in a bin under our coffee table. I have a nice sewing machine that I've used three times, and then hid out of shame when I screwed up the bobbin. Knitting needles, embroidery floss, enamel paint, hell, even a very nice electric piano, all victims of abandonment at the hands of my frustration and caprice.

Except when it comes to my little container garden. I am obsessed. Perhaps it's my (failed) Mormon upbringing; I'm always looking for ways to be marketable in the apocalypse. And while prostitution sounds fun, it also sounds very unhygienic in a futuristic hellscape with no running water.

So, gardening it is! Instead of clogging up my friends' Facebook feeds with more f'ing plant pictures, I'll just post stuff here until I'm bored with the blog. Welcome to my little garden of iniquity! Don't get too attached.